Know your self-worth

This seems to be a topic that comes up often in discussion, “knowing your self worth” and often is also a sensitive one. Where does your self worth stem from?

Does it come from external sources, recognition, a good academic background, acceptance by friends and family, an active social life, dollars in the bank account….or any other you might like to add

Realizing your self-worth has nothing to do with checking your bank balance.

It is about you, the person you are in life.

How is it possible that we speak well of others, acknowledge the skills and good qualities of others. We give others respect, love and consideration yet we often forget to acknowledge ourselves, love ,value and respect ourselves

How you value yourself is based on the self-esteem you have, your self-esteem shows you how much you truly value yourself. Healthy self-esteem leads to independence, happiness, flexibility, the ability to adapt easily to change, co-operation and a positive outlook on any situation. Unhealthy or low self-esteem on the other hand leads only to irrational thoughts, unhappiness, fear of the new, rigidity, defensiveness and a negative outlook on life in general.

How we see ourselves has a lot to do with how others see us, if we are happy, smiling and full of confidence then others see us as someone they want to be around, if we respect ourselves and portray this then others will respect you too, after all how can you ask for respect from others if you don’t even respect yourself? So finding and developing your self-worth is all about developing your self-esteem, so let’s take a look at esteem

High self-worth

If you have a high self-esteem you will see certain traits in yourself – Listed below are a few traits found in people with a high self esteem ;

• You are secure about who you are and have confidence in your abilities
• You are often certain in uncertain circumstances
• You have a higher level of emotional intelligence and allow yourself to show your true feelings to others
• You have healthy intimacy in relationships
• You are able to acknowledge and take pride in yourself for your achievements in life
• You are easily able to forgive yourself for mistakes and also forgive others

 Low self-worth

Similarly if you have problems with self-worth or low self-esteem then you will follow a certain pattern in your thoughts and ways, if you have problems with low self-esteem then you will see the following points in yourself

• You lack belief in yourself and are very insecure
• You have problems showing and accepting intimacy in relationships
• You never let your true feelings show
• You never recognize and give yourself credit for your accomplishments
• You have the inability to forgive yourself or others
• You resist change at every opportunity

Developing your self-worth

There are plenty of ways in which you can boost your self-esteem and change to a more positive and healthy outlook about yourself, here are some tips for developing and boosting your self-worth

• Don’t take other peoples criticism to heart, instead listen to what they are saying and learn from it. – You have the ability to choose whether you accept this as a belief or not.
• Spend time with yourself and on yourself everyday, meditate, look inside yourself and realize all your good points and imagine changing your weaker ones into more positive.
• Celebrate and pride yourself on even the smallest achievements that you accomplish – Have a celebration day.
• Do something everyday that you enjoy, such as talking a walk in the sunshine or soaking in a bubble bath.
• Never deprive yourself of something you enjoy, if you know you shouldn’t be doing it, then do it anyway and stop chastising yourself about it.

Talk positively to yourself, repeat affirmations to chase away all of the negative thoughts and feelings. When you find yourself engaging in negative self talk ask yourself, for what purpose would you be choosing to do this and then consciously reframe the negative though into something more positive and empowering.

Soon and with constant repetition you will find that over time your self esteem increases drawing to you all that you could wish for.

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Brenda Tsiaousis

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