How often do you feel like a fake an impostor, a fraud?

Have you ever secretly dreaded the day that you might be found out to be the fraud that you think you are?

It takes courage to admit that you have entertained this thought sometime during your lifetime, your career or even in your current position as the “so called guru.”

And truthfully you’re not alone.

So it’s entirely OK to ‘fess up… You’re in good company.

I was having this conversation a week ago with one of my clients . We both chuckled at how we identified with the above statement and how often our clients experience this exact same thing.

So where does this “fakeness” stem from?

Allow me to share a short story of my last position in a high performing corporate environment.

I was appointed to this position to bring about change in the department, to ignite a little fire amongst the team (mainly men) who had become a little complacent in their jobs.

I was considered a catalyst, a red hot chilli pepper (I wasn’t born with red hair for nothing) someone with the capacity to ignite a fire, revive long lost passion and bring about new energy and change in order to grow the financial results of the company.

A year into this “new role” I sat back one morning and thought  “the thought…”

“ If only they knew, that I actually don’t know as much as they think I do – I feel like such a fraud “

Sound familiar?

Entertaining this thought can be crippling, personally and professionally.

So where do these thoughts come from?

Feeling like a fake (or impostor syndrome as it is also known ) arises from self doubt.

Feelings of  “not good enough”

And arise they will. Try to ignore this feeling or these thoughts and you can be sure that time and time again they will make themselves known. Sometimes painfully so.

So how do you rid yourself of the “impostor syndrome?”

Simple.

You don’t.

As in all things “ even feeling a fake, a fraud, an impostor has it’s advantages and instead of trying to get rid of it, you can learn to manage and remain on top of it.

Let me share my special secret of managing “my impostor” Oh yes. I have one too. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t.

Thing is, I hear from her less and less,

Why?

• 1st of all, I acknowledge that I don’t know it all – There are days when I feel like a baby, an infant, falling over my feet and still learning as I go. I love learning and as a life long learner I doubt I will ever know everything and I am not meant to. This thought is comforting don’t you think? I don’t have to have all the answers – I only need enough to be able to help my very special clients.

• Focus more on the things or areas that you do well in and the deficits will naturally fall away.  This excites me. When I think of the things I do well, a fire lights within me and suddenly I feel capable, more confident and on top of my game. Keep on doing the do and as the old adage says (not sure I always agree with this) “Fake it until you make it.”

• Understand what your impostor triggers are; Are you comparing yourself to someone in a similar industry? Don’t! It might be they started out hundreds of years before you did ( ok – slight exaggeration but you get where I’m coming from, don’t you? – You are on your own journey.)

and lastly

• Find a mentor to work through this with you, to shine the light on areas that may be holding you back and to guide you to a more positive space. It works.

Richard Branson, Donald Trump, Michael Jordan, Tony Robbins, Oprah, cant all be wrong now can they? Even the most successful person I know sees value in external mentorship or coaching.

I’d love to hear your “impostor story” so remember to leave me a comment below. If you liked this article please share it with your friends or on facebook 🙂

Managing your impostor 🙂