I Feel Like A Fake! Welcome To Impostor Syndrome.

How often do you feel like a fake an impostor, a fraud?

Have you ever secretly dreaded the day that you might be found out to be the fraud that you think you are?

It takes courage to admit that you have entertained this thought sometime during your lifetime, your career or even in your current position as the “so called guru.”

And truthfully you’re not alone.

So it’s entirely OK to ‘fess up… You’re in good company.

I was having this conversation a week ago with one of my clients . We both chuckled at how we identified with the above statement and how often our clients experience this exact same thing.

So where does this “fakeness” stem from?

Allow me to share a short story of my last position in a high performing corporate environment.

I was appointed to this position to bring about change in the department, to ignite a little fire amongst the team (mainly men) who had become a little complacent in their jobs.

I was considered a catalyst, a red hot chilli pepper (I wasn’t born with red hair for nothing) someone with the capacity to ignite a fire, revive long lost passion and bring about new energy and change in order to grow the financial results of the company.

A year into this “new role” I sat back one morning and thought  “the thought…”

“ If only they knew, that I actually don’t know as much as they think I do – I feel like such a fraud “I Feel Like A Fake! Welcome to The Impostor Syndrome.

Sound familiar?

Entertaining this thought can be crippling, personally and professionally.

So where do these thoughts come from?

Feeling like a fake (or impostor syndrome as it is also known ) arises from self doubt.

Feelings of  “not good enough”

And arise they will. Try to ignore this feeling or these thoughts and you can be sure that time and time again they will make themselves known. Sometimes painfully so.

So how do you rid yourself of the “impostor syndrome?”

Simple.

You don’t.

As in all things “ even feeling a fake, a fraud, an impostor has it’s advantages and instead of trying to get rid of it, you can learn to manage and remain on top of it.

Let me share my special secret of managing “my impostor” Oh yes. I have one too. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t.

Thing is, I hear from her less and less,

Why?

  • 1st of all, I acknowledge that I don’t know it all – There are days when I feel like a baby, an infant, falling over my feet and still learning as I go. I love learning and as a life long learner I doubt I will ever know everything and I am not meant to. This thought is comforting don’t you think? I don’t have to have all the answers – I only need enough to be able to help my very special clients.
  • Focus more on the things or areas that you do well in and the deficits will naturally fall away.  This excites me. When I think of the things I do well, a fire lights within me and suddenly I feel capable, more confident and on top of my game. Keep on doing the do and as the old adage says (not sure I always agree with this) “Fake it until you make it.”
  • Understand what your impostor triggers are; Are you comparing yourself to someone in a similar industry? Don’t! It might be they started out hundreds of years before you did ( ok – slight exaggeration but you get where I’m coming from, don’t you? – You are on your own journey.)

and lastly

  • Find a mentor to work through this with you, to shine the light on areas that may be holding you back and to guide you to a more positive space. It works.

Richard Branson, Donald Trump, Michael Jordan, Tony Robbins, Oprah, cant all be wrong now can they? Even the most successful person I know sees value in external mentorship or coaching.

I’d love to hear your “impostor story” so remember to leave me a comment below. If you liked this article please share it with your friends or on facebook 🙂

Managing your impostor 🙂

 

4 Comments

  1. Kerry

    Great post Brenda with some excellent advice on taming your imposter syndrome feelings.

    Very much enjoyed!

    Kerry

    Reply
    • Brenda

      Thank you Kerry, I know that many business owners go through something similar and it can be quite daunting however as with all things, it can be managed to create a fulling life and business. 🙂

      Reply
  2. Penni

    I was facilitating a session recently and I swear I heard a voice in my head say “can it” because I felt in the wrong space, I had mucked up the intro and felt like a fraud. Thankfully I gathered myself and concentrated on as you said, the areas I do well in. The class was wonderfully received with many positive comments being offered. Great article to remind you we are all very similar and human!

    Reply
    • Brenda

      Thank you Penni, I love that you stopped yourself from entertaining those thoughts but rather chose to focus on something else and of course, they loved you.. 🙂

      Reply

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About Brenda Tsiaousis

Business Success Mentor, Courage Ignitor and confidante, Brenda supports passionate, impact driven women over 40 to have the confidence and courage to market their business and create a unique brand by combining a success mindset with timeless strategy fuelled by faith.Brenda is passionate about supporting women, addressing crucial missing components in life and business that often stop them from shining bright, sharing their message and living  more courageous lives. Brenda is founder of Business By Design For Women In Business and #1 best selling author of Courage To Bloom.  She speaks on various business topics, mindset, confidence, resilience and courage.  Learn more about Brenda and her coaching programs, here.

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